A Gay Demon surfer named Kevin K. wrote to me saying, “In a recent post I saw on GayDemon’s blog Called Ass Fucking a Greedy Bottom and you wrote, ‘Tall and handsome Gabriel West and bottom Aiden Summers are really into each other.’” In the post I went on to describe the top, but Kevin wanted to know why I neglected talking about the bottom. “Is Gabriel ‘tall and handsome’ because he is the top and Aiden is the bottom so he doesn’t need a description of his looks?
Kevin wonders if this is an example of the marginalition of bottoms because he sees this sort of thing on other gay porn blogs. And it’s a good question. I can’t speak for other bloggers, but you won’t find Joe Spunk putting down bottoms - I’m a committed bottom. I’m not a good top. I don’t have a huge cock, I don’t enjoy fucking a guy’s ass, and on the rare occasion that I do, I cum too quickly. I’m a much better bottom and tops will usually give out before I do.
Having said that, I have on occasion spoken disparaging about a bottom, but it’s more along the lines of “This big-dicked bottom just makes you want to cry because that huge cock of his was made to be fucked.” Or sometimes when I see a bottom who can’t manage to swallow more than a mouthful of a beautiful big cock, I’ll say something like “Get out of the way and let a real cocksucker show you how it’s done.”
Marginalization means relegating someone to a powerless or lower standing within a larger group or society; so in this case, looking down on men who are bottoms or considering them less than men who are tops. While I might comment on a bottom’s inabilities to handle well-hung tops, I don’t think I’ve ever put a man down solely for being a bottom. I was taken to task by one of my readers for my lamenting of big-dicked bottoms, but I don’t think that’s putting them down or marginalizing them, I think it’s a fun way of expressing my love for sitting on a big dick. Maybe it is putting them down, I don’t know, you tell me.
But I think Kevin K’s question has merit. I used to call myself versatile until I realized that I did so out of a sense of shame. Let’s face it, new prisoners in jail are often put in their place in the prison hierarchy by getting fucked. And even the language of fucking is aggressive: take my dick, open your hole, get on your knees, or I’m going to fuck your ass off. There’s not only a suggestion of submission or degradation, but the idea that a top is doing something bad or mean to a bottom. So it’s no wonder some men have issues around anal sex and who is a top or a bottom.
These days I don’t say that I’m versatile - I’m a bottom and I love getting fucked. I am versatile in the sense that’ll I fuck my partner when he wants me to, but it’s not anything I prefer to do or even find particularly fun.
Don’t get me wrong, I think there are still a lot of negative attitudes amongst gay men around bottoming, but where Joe Spunk is concerned I’m a proud bottom.
Written by Joe Spunk
Straining on that invasive finger.
Some people equate submission — especially in males — to weakness. They are wrong. To know one’s place and live one’s destiny requires strength few men possess.
He Knows his Place